Look Mom, I'm Bloggin'!

"Would you look at that? She's just puttin' it out there for everybody to see. Like she's all that."

Wheeee! Look at me! I'm blogging. Who'da thunk it?

Okay, so as I bravely venture out into the great, unknown blogosphere, I am immediately faced with a perplexing problem........what the heck do I want to write about? (Yes, I agree. You'd think I would have thought about that before now. But no.)

But as I sit here, pondering the many snippets of not-quite-publishable material that is swimming around in my brain, a TV commercial from the other room catches my attention. What I hear is this (in a deep, monotone male voice), "This is Life Alert. Your presence has been detected. Leave now."

Yeah, that's it. So now I'm laughing. Loudly. When in the other room, my husband who is currently in command of the TiVo remote, rewinds the commercial to play it again. And again. Now we're all laughing. God I love TiVo.

So here's what's going on in my "rubber room" of a brain: There are whacked out criminals ransacking my house and possibly my person when, from the walls, a disembodied voice booms monotonously and tells them to stop it and leave.

Criminal #1: "Was that you, God?"

Me: "Did you hear him? The police are on their way."

Disembodied Voice: "Your presence has been detected. Leave now."

Criminal #2: "Is that all he knows how to say?"

Criminal #1: "Maybe we should bug out, G."

Criminal #2: "At least he's polite."

Criminal #1: "Yeah man. Let's get outta here."

Criminal #2: "Hey, can I have this cookie?"

Me: "Sure. Would you like some milk?....Wait, hold on, I just bought the cutest paper cups. I'll make you some to go."

Okay, I know it's lame. But seriously, what would you expect to happen when some stern dweeb voice starts politely telling the criminals in your house to stop what they're doing?

So many giggles.....so little time.