Jingle Bells, Batman Smells

So my last post was complaining about it being November already and now, BAM! Christmas is staring me in the face.

'Tis the season to turn all manic, right? What with the endless gift lists, party lists, cooking, entertaining, decorating, wrapping, who has time to feel any cheer? So I thought I'd share with you my own twisted version of Christmas From the Rubber Room.

To the tune of "Jingle Bells"

Jingle bells, avoid the sales,
the traffic, and the crowds.
Shop online, with a glass of wine
singing carols much too loud. Oh!

Jingle bells, the tree just fell,
and I'm all bound in tape.
I'm trying to wrap, but now there's sap
and the kids are all agape. (but not helping, of course)

Dashing through the store,
in sweats and tennis shoes,
gotta find an hors d'ouevre in time
but I think I'm gonna lose (my mind). ha! ha! ha!

Doorbells' constantly ringing,
it's the UPS guy again.
More crap to wrap, I mean gifts to share
hey, there's those cards I forgot to send.

Oh! Jingle bells, that garland smells.
Where'd we store it since last year?
These lights won't work, I'm going berserk,
and don't you call me, "Dear!" Oh!

Jingle bells, I look like hell,
don't feel like spreading cheer.
Where's that wine? (or is that 'whine?')
I'll be fine some time next year!

Happy Holidays from the Rubber Room!